The complexity of divorce is stressful and often life-altering. Sometimes it generates overwhelming feelings and causes us to act out of character. Please read some of our tips on what to avoid when you’re going through a separation.
Avoid Major Physical Changes During Divorce
Changing up your hair, losing weight, and buying new clothes can be therapeutic and even healthy! It’s normal to want to feel different after a divorce. However, we’ve seen enough to know that it’s best to avoid anything permanent or drastic, like tattoos or cosmetic surgery.
Don’t Expect Your Ex to Be Considerate or Kind
Divorce changes us, and expecting your ex to behave with good intentions can be disappointing and negatively affect us in court.
All too often, our clients are surprised and hurt by their ex’s unusual and selfish behavior during a divorce. We always recommend that you focus on yourself and what you can control. Expect some retaliation and hostility, even if your ex doesn’t have a track record of behaving this way.
Don’t Become Intimate With Your Ex
Reaching out to an old flame may seem comforting, but remember that person is an ex for a reason. We are especially vulnerable during separation, and seeking relations with an ex may cloud your judgment and make it harder to determine what’s best for yourself.
Get Counseling and Stick to It
Divorce is not easy; seeking the help of a professional can help you see the positives, work through issues, move forward, and so much more. The trauma of separation ripples into everything we do, and a therapist often helps us work through that. Learn more about yourself and what you may want (or not want) in your next relationship. Healing your emotional wounds is the best way to move on.
Avoid Sharing Much on Social Media
We often share advice about what to avoid on Facebook, Instagram, or social media during a divorce. Even a simple comment can affect your divorce case. Not to mention seeing your ex on social media can be hurtful and saddening. We always advise that our clients take a break from social media when going through the process of divorce. If you need to vent, call a friend, but do not post online!
Don’t Isolate Yourself During Divorce
Reach out to friends and family, stay busy going to outings, dinners, and celebrations. People often don’t know how to react when their friends are going through a divorce. Call or text and let them know you still want to be a part of the plans. Expect some friends to “choose sides” and make space for new friends!
Wait until after the Divorce to Date Publicly
One of the biggest mistakes we can make during a divorce is immediately jumping into something new. It can be lonely after separation but give yourself time to get through the case before you begin seeking new relationships. Think about what may have gone wrong in your marriage and what kind of partner will make you happy in the future. Make a plan and set personal goals and expectations so that you can avoid the same mistakes.
"*" indicates required fields